Purity Culture says that monogamous married sex between two heterosexual people is the only good and moral way. Anything that “deviates” is evil and sinful, even an abomination to god.

But it’s all a lie. 

When we leave religion—whether it’s Christianity or any other fundamentalist belief system—we don’t magically forget everything we believed. The homophobia, internalized or otherwise, runs deep. Be compassionate and patient with yourself and others.

Below are some resources from members of our private Facebook group. Perhaps they’ll be helpful to you, as well!

“Just getting to know human beings who do life differently cannot be replaced by all the reading and listening.” —Ursula Schneider

Books

• All Boys Aren’t Blue
• Bi: The Hidden Culture, History, and Science of Bisexuality
• The Ethical Slut
• Evolution’s Rainbow
• Gender Queer: A Memoir
• More Than Two
• Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy
• Unprotected Texts: The Bible’s Surprising Contradictions about Sex and Desire

Entertainment

• Kinky Boots: The Musical
• Kinky Boots (movie)
• POSE
• Queer Eye

Instagram

• Alok V Menon
• DL Mayfield
• Jeff Chu
• Jo Luehmann
• holyqueerit
• Vicky Beeching

Podcasts

• Coming Out with Lauren and Nicole

Youtube

• Ash Hardell
• Ex-Fundie Diaries
• Jamie Raines
• Vera Wylde

The last resource is a simple quote from a community member and past guest, Ursula Schneider: “Just getting to know human beings who do life differently cannot be replaced by all the reading and listening.”

We don’t have to walk this path alone, and there is so much we learn from one another. If you’re in need of community, consider joining the Deconversion Anonymous private Facebook group.

Arline