My guest this week is Ian Redfearn. Ian deconverted over 12 years ago. Since then he has continued to obsess over his deconversion. He is still asking the why? and how? questions. Ian is concerned with the deep questions of life and continuing to find ways to make meaning.
When people ask the question, “why did you leave it?”
I say it came down to credibility and integrity.
Credibility, I no longer found it credible to talk about a loving interventionist god against the reality of what was going on in my life and in the life of those around me and in the world.
And integrity, in that, I just couldn’t keep on pretending.
Ian has experienced the full force of the chaotic world we live in. His 24-year-old son has Cystic Fibrosis which is particularly frightening during an airborne pandemic. His father is experiencing Alzheimer’s Disease. All of this is happening during the time of Covid 19.
In spite of the difficulties of life, Ian has a joy and a sense of purpose. He is a committed father, husband, son and community member. He takes time to wonder at the beauty in the world. He recognizes that relationships are what give us our most valued meaning in life.
So there is much to wonder … are we allowed to use the word transcendent? Just that which completely expands your mind.
So there is meaning in that.
But above all else I think there is meaning in relationship and for anyone going through this that will not change you will find the relationships that matter.
Also don’t stop giving … you will find meaning in reaching out and helping those less fortunate than yourself.
That will serve to give your life meaning
He is now attending the Manchester Sunday Assembly and becoming an active member of the Secular community.
What is your favorite #DeconversionSong?
Music is important to Ian and it influenced his deconversion and how he talks and feels about it now.
Use the hashtag #DeconversionSong to tell us your favorite deconversion song
Here are some of Ian’s favorites:
My favorite is A Great Big World’s Say Something
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“Waves” track written and produced by Makaih Beats