2021 Holiday Special

Deconstruction, Deconversion, ExVangelical, Podcast, Secular Community, Secular Grace, secular grief, Secular Humanist Graces
Photo by Thomas Bormans on Unsplash
Photo by Thomas Bormans on Unsplash
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The Holidays: The Big White Elephant in the Room

When one has deconverted, the holidays may look completely different, reexamining everything from family traditions to singing carols to dealing with those extended family members. On today’s episode, two returning guests, Arline and Lars and a new guest, Carlene, share how the holidays have and haven’t changed since deconversion. 

Lars and Arline go into what it’s like to be an unbelieving parent during the holidays, navigating the mythologies of Santa and Jesus. Children ask genuine questions, and they expect genuine answers.

The group discusses what they have not given up, among other things, singing Christmas carols. Carols are different than singing religious songs at church, more cultural than sacred. For some, however, it takes a little self-discipline to sing along without critiquing the lyrics. 

The guests also examine what they have thrown in the trash bin completely, including, but not limited to, the phrase “Merry Christmas” and all those nativity scenes. 

Being thankful of the time spent with extended family can be challenging, regardless of religious beliefs. Each person shares how they’re finding their own unique ways of appreciating time with family. Religion does not own the rights to giving thanks. 

Lastly, Carlene, David, Lars and Arline consider some new traditions they’ve started or would like to start. Nature is the easiest place to experience awe and wonder, and everyone discussed ways to be in nature more this winter. Also, creating new traditions can be awkward and may not always turn out quite like we hope.

It is a lovely conversation, full of hope and lots of humor. 

“…It’s scary and new, and that might actually be the best part because your life is in many ways new again…you get to experience so many things for the first time with a new mindset, and this will hopefully enrich your life going forward…”


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“Waves” track written and produced by Makaih Beats

Photo by Thomas Bormans on Unsplash

Chosen Family Grace

Secular Grace, Secular Humanist Graces

We are friends, We are family, We are chosen family.

We are gathered together to show our love for one another.

The act of eating this meal binds us together.

We are grateful both For and To each other.

Here at this table we can be our authentic selves. We commit to honesty, humility and love to one another during this meal.

We may laugh together, We may cry together, We may tell our stories, We may argue but we are one.

This eating together is an act of joy, it is an act of hope, it is an act of gratitude, it is an act of love.

We are friends, We are family, We are chosen family.

This post is a part of the Secular Humanist Graces.

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Photo by Askar Abayev on Pexels.com