This week’s show is a Deconversion Anonymous episode.
My guest this week is Brette. Brette was so serious about her Christianity in junior high her goal was martyrdom. In her young adulthood, she followed her pastor’s advice and attended Master’s Commission, similar to a discipleship training program. Her experience there was nothing short of psychological torture.
Of course, everything was always very spiritualized there and this was no exception. Everything was either god or demons. One part of the program was that we all we went through deliverance (exorcism) while we were there that we spent weeks preparing for.
Her faith began breaking down as did her physical and psychological health at Master’s Commission. It included deliverance sessions and enumerating her demons. It wasn’t until she saw her younger brother being treated poorly that she began to question. She and her brother left: “leaving was the BEST feeling!”
But I had finally given myself permission to question things and it all unraveled pretty quickly from there.
After a brief stint in “spiritual but not religious” land, she finally admitted she no longer believed in god. She let go of “trying to make it be true.”
Since then it’s been really interesting to me to look back on my past experiences and understand them from a purely naturalistic and psychological perspective. It was really helpful to learn, too, about Religious Trauma Syndrome.
Brette has since discovered naturalistic and psychological explanations of her experiences that have given her more closure and comfort.
Interact
Interact
Sam (When Belief Dies) GoFundMe for a laptop
https://gofund.me/9bed67a7
Deconversion
https://gracefulatheist.com/2017/12/03/deconversion-how-to/
Secular Grace
https://gracefulatheist.com/2016/10/21/secular-grace/
Support the podcast
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Paypal: paypal.me/gracefulatheist
Attribution
Picture by Brette’s daughter A.
“Waves” track written and produced by Makaih Beats
gracefulatheist.com 
Brett, so sorry you had to go through that to get to the other side but glad you did! RTS is real and so many of us suffer. My circumstances weren’t as serious as yours but the psychological damage is there nonetheless. Thank you for your post.
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Brett, so sorry you had to go through that to get to the other side but glad you did! RTS is real and so many of us suffer. My circumstances were not as severe as yours but the psychological damage is there nonetheless. I’ve become an anti-theist but try to keep it in check; I have so much anger.
Thank you for your post.
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Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m so sorry you went through something similar. I get the anti-theist/anger thing. I think of that part of me like a wounded animal that starts barking and snarling when it feels threatened. It helps me hold it with a little more sympathy and understanding. Of course we feel protective. ❤️
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